Most people will confidently say they “live by their values.” It sounds admirable and, on the surface, it feels true. But when you dig even a little deeper, a pattern emerges: what people usually mean is not that they actively live their values, but that they don’t break them. There’s a world of difference between the two. One is a deliberate expression of who you want to be; the other is simply avoiding being the type of person you don’t want to be.
This distinction matters because it exposes a quiet misconception at the heart of how many of us think about morality and personal growth. We often assume that “not doing the wrong thing” automatically places us in the realm of doing the right thing. In reality, it places us in psychological neutral.
Two Continuums, Not One
A helpful way to think about this is to treat values and their opposites as two distinct continuums rather than two ends of the same line. Kindness exists on its own continuum. So does unkindness. Sitting in the middle—“not being unkind”—is not the same as being kind. The first is passive: there is no violation. The second is active: something of value is being enacted.
This simple shift in perspective dissolves the illusion that avoiding bad behaviour is equivalent to living a virtuous life. You can go years without lying and still never genuinely practice honesty. You can avoid cruelty without ever being meaningfully kind. And this is where most people unknowingly sit.
The Three Modes of Living Your Values
Once you separate active values from their opposites, you begin to see three distinct ways people relate to their values:
The Positive Enactor – someone who actively expresses their values in daily life.
They don’t just believe in honesty; they take actions that demonstrate it.The Negative Enactor – someone who consistently acts out their non-values.
This is the person people instinctively contrast themselves against when saying, “I’m a good person.”The Passive Non-Violator – the most common category by far.
These are individuals who avoid violating their values but don’t actively express them.
Most people who say they “live by their values” are actually describing this third mode. They’ve set the bar at “not doing harm,” not at “creating good.”
The Self-Assessment Trap
This misunderstanding shows up clearly when people are asked whether they live according to their values. The internal comparison rarely goes upward—toward the Positive Enactor. It goes downward—toward the Negative Enactor.
“Do I live my values?”
“Well, I’m not dishonest or cruel… so yes.”
It’s an effortless mental shortcut, but it misses the entire point. Aligning with your values isn’t about not doing the wrong thing; it’s about deliberately doing the right thing. It’s not passive compliance—it’s active embodiment.
A Simple Thought Experiment
If you want to test this for yourself (or use it with others), try asking four questions in sequence:
What do you think your values are?
Can you name a few and write them down?
Do you believe you live your life according to these values?
Do you actively express these values—or do you mostly avoid violating their opposites?
That last question is the one that exposes the gap. People suddenly see the difference between the value they like the idea of and the value they actually enact.
“I’m honest” often becomes “I don’t lie.”
“I’m kind” often becomes “I’m not unkind.”
“I’m courageous” becomes “I avoid cowardice when possible.”
These are not the same thing.
Why This Matters for Intentional Living
If your values sit in a vault—admired, discussed, occasionally polished—but rarely used as day-to-day behavioural drivers, then they aren’t functioning as values. They’re closer to personal branding. Values are only real when they show up in what you do.
This is central to the work of intentional living and to the Sprint Living philosophy: bringing deliberate action to how you want to live, not just cataloguing the things you believe about yourself. We are, after all, what we repeatedly give our attention to. Living well, just like mastering a craft, is a skill built through practice, feedback, and refinement—an idea core to Sprint Living’s broader mission of helping people develop a more intentional life.
Values aren’t meant to sit untouched in a drawer. They are meant to guide decisions, shape habits, and influence the feel of your day. When they remain abstract, we tend to drift back into passive non-violation. When they become operational, they shift from principles we admire into behaviours we embody.
The Real Question
So the real inquiry isn’t:
“Do you live by your values?”
It’s:
“Where do you sit on the spectrum: Positive Enactor, Passive Non-Violator, or Negative Enactor?”
Because once you see the difference, the path forward becomes obvious: identify the values that matter, learn to express them in real behaviour, and review the impact over time—the same disciplined, iterative approach used across intentional wellbeing work. Sprint Living builds exactly this kind of structure: a pathway for turning values from abstract statements into lived practice.